Haven't receive my Birthday Present from Brad yet.. where is it? *pout*

Been tired, well its 2am of course I am tired expecially after the things I did today. Woke up 7am in the morning Jogging, Practise, went to work.. Very fruitful day.. :) Very tiring.. haha but its ok.. I want to be better than her. I can if I put my heart to it.

Still missing Brad, but its ok.. I think he have totally move on already and I should too.. No, :" Maybe he will call" or "Maybe he will SMS me" cos he will never, and I know it very clearly, who am I kidding. I am glad that he is alot happier now though.. Why be together when your partner is not happy? Well, its not partner anymore cos its been nearly 6 weeks when we parted. I know very clearly that, things will never be the same.. We can't go out to have dinner, or partying or even catch a movie... Its just so hard.. Tears will probably always roll down my cheek, that's how much I love him.. N I always will but I just need more time to get myself back to reality again n again.

I never fail to look around into places we always go to, every corner in Clark Quay and even the taxi stand.. Maybe I could take a glimpse at him and I will be happy.. haha nope.. I think I will just bring me more pain and sorrows... At this point of time Ester would probably so angry and dun wanna care abt me and wat I am saying.. haha. I just can't help how I feel right now, especially when I am PMS'ing..

But from today, I am giving up .. No more waiting for his calls or sms.. No more trying to find out if he is well or happy. He is just a friend? Can I think like that? Will he still treat me like one? Will he still enjoy my company? At the end of the day does saying all these matter? Does he know my pain that I am going through? Is it worth it? I might be better off shedding tears for Ester for taking good care of me and I keep thinking negative.. Feel bad for her efforts.. I am stronger but sometimes I just want some room to cry. I am silly I know. Truth hurts and its wat Ester always want me to see and I refuse to believe it and its time to face to truth..
I wanna wake up and be a better person and strive to be better. Not living for anyone but yourself.

Anyway, put the sad things apart. I get a invitation to TMCC Heritage Challenge.. its a great event. Om's might be able to get me a free Lasik and Golf is going pretty good.. :) I am determine for Ester to be my FHM manager.. lol.. can lah~ ^^ Ester buying Dim Sim this week.. I dun care :p